For Emma, For Everyone

Sometimes the people with the hardest lives
Are the strongest ones one you know.
their strength while in pain
makes you want to cry

no words can express
every feeling inside
mixed together
in order to be viewed

those without pain will never understand
only sympathize
they try to convey hope
in their apologies

everyone does everything differently
each emotion a rainbow
trapped within

through the pain and suffuring
in every frustrated tear
find strength

Just A Little Twisted

Most so easy to read
practice made me perfect
old and young,
in all relations

yet these two
one older
one younger
each related to the other

at times I think they flirt
others not so much
feelings mixed
and I lost

each close as family
no desire in my part
each pertaining to other girls
and still they flirt

The Will Always Call

Walking through the mall
Mom and brother in tow
Crazy aunts behind me

Wrapped in leather
and ill fitting jeans
yet still they flirt

then my mother
bless her heart
comments on it all

its reassuring just to know
that no matter wearing what
or with who

Abby Christmas 2012

Two steps forward

One step back

Always by my side

Whether rainy ABBA concerts

Or waist deep in mud

Every moment an adventure

Thanks for the year

And here’s to the next

May fortune be in our favor

In retrospect

Living without regrets

I smile

Happy to be a wing girl

Or dance the night away

All for my best friend

And although the frame is filled

Our story isn’t over

Start Again

I’ve lost the ability to breath

Pain smothers me from within

Sorrow pushes me around

But with your support

And my inner strength

I will dance again

For now I may trip and stumble

Falling to my knees

And yet I try

Take each breath anew

Every tear washed away

I return to my place

Take A Breath

So many things happen

Without you knowing

And you cannot react

But when cool truth blows in

And reveals the light

Then healing begins

Treat every thought with caution

The weight they hold unknown

Helpful or hurtful

To everyone I’ve touched

This I write to you

As my apology

From here and now I change

To be a better me

Without pain or sorrow

May I pull you up

Instead of pushing down

Change the situation

My presents

I wish

Bring a smile to your face

Although eager to fill your shoes

I step into the shadows

And quickly bow my head

In a circular motion

Telling all

I write

From Thirteen and My Birth

Black fog

Settles down

Hiding the truth

Tears that stained my cheeks

Now fall in your sight

Every word a dagger

I wish to break free

And start again

As my own

My age inhibits me

Paying you my money

Pushing me down

In a timeless age

Maybe these tears

Wouldn’t have to fall  

In His Memory

A flash of red

An electric chirp

The slam of a door

Thick hand lotion

The sounds of shower

This blue pen

A radio station

A chrome flame

The right door  

Bar Maid

Cherry Vanilla

Flirts from across the room

A toss of the hair

And a twirled skirt

Closed eyes

Speaking without words

Coy smiles

Hiding inner wit

In the corner eye

Golden fate twists

Murmuring softly to herself

Plotting her next cloth  

What Do They See

No coquettish airs

Simply kindness

Confidence and sincerity

No great figure

Do I poses

Befitting an Abbey

Exalted wit

without accentuation

a silent savant

climbing into my tower

under own lock and key

I seal my hear away

I fear fro my companions

Sure I’d lose them

I could hold

Times brings in life

Yet no room for dust

Sill it settles thick  

Courting Snakes

Time flashes by

A constant history

Those who eat dust

Crawl towards me

In crystalled light

Shines around me

And as it dims

I fight the shadows

No decision

Comes without consequences

All unrequited loves

End in broken hearts

Why is it

That as the dust falls in

And I struggle to breath

Now they approach

A Flower Wanted

A baker’s dozen

Fight for a single rose

Yellow spiked with pink

Down the same trail

They ride

Unaware of each other

Even one at a time

Threatens to crush the bloom

In their endless hunt

This bloom still a bud

Her beauty not reveled

Undesired to flourish

With age and knowledge

The bloom peaks

All in her own time

Salted Carmel

Toadied words

Become sincere

Over time passed

Filled to the brim

A factices of noise

All for show

So much thanks

To just a few

Covered in shinning film

Ready to unwrap

Given to You

Does the act of

Thinking about something

Make it happen?

Is the spoken word

Power enough

To get things done?

In my dreams

They give to me

What my future holds

In every word I say

A new story begins

With I in control

Confidence

In every key

Drives me forward

As I say

And as I do

My advice

Water Mark

Have you ever woken up

And had to wash

The tears off your face

Discovering how you slept

They say your dreams

Reveal who you are

but how about when

You do not dream?

The pain is slowing crushing me inside

And taking away my dreams

Leaving to fight

For everything I love

Trapped in this home

Cold creeping in

Surrounding me in its embrace

I dare not breath

So many suitors

Chase for my heart

How do I turn away

With simple grace

I must stand strong

And forge ahead

Move away from this

From me 

Everything seems so shallow

And meaningless

Why do we try to appease

Everyone above par

Here and now I grow

For tomorrow

I can’t leave

Before I know

Miss Anony

No one knows who I am

Or where I’m from

And I like it like this

I’m never remembered

But always there

Giving you a hand

I might not change the world

But make it a better place

Without you knowing

I like you I am

Not invisible

But not seen

My Best Friend’s Beau

Her happiness

Is all that matters

And  this what you gave her

How can I hate you

When you make her smile

This is my question

Seeing you, I realize

That we think alike

Just in different ways

We many not have a lot in common

Except for her

And that’s all we need

To be neutral  

Piano Poetry

Great music

Of those before

Plays my soul

Every up and down

A perfect concerto

Out for the world to hear

I listen to modern

Because it blocks the pain

That the classics reveal

But I don’t care

Because I don’t want to fight

Just listen

Because life without music

Would be flat

Yes. No. Maybe?

I’ve always been alone

But never lonely

More alone now than ever before

I’ve lost the will to smile

But it will return

All in due time

Tears choke down

What I want to say

But I feel safe

Around you

I pretend

But I don’t have to

Do I ?  

Peter Piper

There’s so many words

That have gone unsaid

Unable to fill the silence

I’m not angry

Never have been

Just lost

Although I stop speaking

I never stop caring

Instead I’m consumed in thought

Patience

Time

Is all I ask

Of you  

2am

a shoulder to cry on

a good laugh

would bail you out of jail

if you weren’t there next to me

through thick and thin they stay

you give into sleep

just a phone call away

but what if I couldn’t

pick up the phone

or you didn’t answer?

Fear

A foreign phenomena

No fiends from afar

Nor mares in the night

Not situation

Of hand or heart

Shall make me stand and shake

Like a tear

It has no purpose

Only to draw attention

Aware of certain sights

I stand to fight

This thing called

Fright

Improv

Its funny

When you feel awful

Wanting to give up

And just scream

Then you see the person you like

And it goes away

Life is good

You didn’t expect to see them

Yet there they were

And you smiled

Right there next to me

Not sure if you knew

But you made my night

So many laughs we shared

You leaned over and whisperd in my ear

A suprise

Thank you

Derive For X

Speaking without words

In facial expressions

And gestures

A smirk, a glance

What do they mean?

I think I know

We don’t have mutual friends

So how could you know

Are you sincere

This is my dream

Your next move

Towards me

EWOH

Who I am

Is unimportant

I go by all

My name is infinite

My face a mystery

My heart regardless

A perfect reputation

Known to everyone

I control my fate

Who am I ?

Blue Box

Independently free

Over those hanging on

I fly alone

I walk with my shadows

Ultimate compassion to all

Never staying

My only weakness

Imperfection

And a child’s cry

A constant presence

Admired and feared

The Doctor  

Caesar

Bright, attentive, alert

A shoulder to cry on

For you will

Modest , demure, quiet

Let you shine

Your moment came

I’ll stand on the side

And hold you up

With out me

Who would you be?

Smirk

Embedded in sorrow

A perpetual foul mood

Letting time slip away

I must shake this off

And carry on

Laughter in the breeze

Amoretti dance

Flit around my heart

With them I let go

No anger or pain

Light as first

Above

Don’t cry because its over

Smile because it happened

Discreet

Walk away

Choose someone else

Carry on

Without your knowledge

If you notice

Will you care?

I’d like to hope you do

But how do I know?

I wish you knew

How your actions

Effect another

Me  

25 October 2012

Soft snow flutters down

Kisses from coquettish winter

Wrapped in the embrace

Of gentle cold

Spun sugar settled

Sweetening our hardship

Telling of the pleasures and pain

To come

Many happy memories

Tainted by sorrow

Time speeding by  

Mine. Yours. Ours.

Two fighting for one

Not against each other

But for her

Same side

Same goal

Different reasons

He for her love

Affection

Heart

I for our friendship

Memories

Time

A part we may fall

Together we win

Our own

Checkmate My Dear

This game

Dancing across the board

So black and white

You made your move first

And seem to always win

And I except

In a room full of numbers

Thoughts

We play alone

A battle of the wits

My years stand against me

In your favor

Little complements

You toss across the field  

When I catch you off guard

So make your move

Take me as your queen

You my knight in armor

Till the end of time

Never stopping

Everywhere

Cavalier

The door opens,

My heart jumps

Thinking you are home

But you’re not

You’re never coming home

You left me

Here with these people

This constant pain

You were my only hope

I have to stand strong now

And protect what you left

From the pain that’s fallen

You could always save me

Make me smile

Now you’re gone

Why should I stay

Surrounded by this

When I could run

To my new life

A better future

Without you is this

Possible?

Good Bye Version #3 Petrarchan

To my bright summer rose I sing

My life I would give to you, love

You came into my life from above

Thank you for the many joys you bring

This is where I stand, for you begging

My heart soars on wings of dove

Your beauty mirrored by foxglove

My sonnet set to the winds’ soft cooing

I might not seem a simple dope

I have lost the desire to try

But sadly your love has gone astray

Although our moments fade I hope

My only wish to say goodbye

To never scare your heart away

Good Bye Version #1 Shakespeare

To my bright summer rose I sing

My life I would give to you, love

Thank you for the many joys you bring

You came into my life from above

Although our moments fade I hope

To never scare your heart way

Sorrow set deep I dare to mope

But sadly your love has gone astray

And try I may I fight

For the chance to proclaim my soul

I lose you to the morning light

This may be daft our customs ole

I have lost the desire to try

My only wish to say goodbye

Good Bye Version #2 Spenser

To my bright summer rose I sing

My life I would give to you, love

Thank you for the many joys you bring

You came into my life from above

My heart soars on wings of dove

Although our moments fade I hope

Your beauty mirrored by foxglove

Sorrow set deep I dare to mope

I might not seem a simple dope

To never scare your heart away

Our fate has gone, fallen down a slope,

But sadly your love has gone astray

I have lost the desire to try

My only wish to say goodbye

Bittersweet

Hello Beautiful

This follows me

My outer-shell

I wish you would stop

Labeling me with

What was given to me

I value most

My mind over matter

Who I am

I relies this

That I should accept

Each one with a smile

But it burns so deep

So painful

That I want to cry

I have to be strong

I have no other choice

But it doesn’t stop the want

How can I say this

It would hurt the other

And make me a narcissist

I don’t want the attention

No I crave less

Not invisible

But hidden

Explaination

History repeats itself

This has been proven

In my life

I’ve lost all my best friends

I’m losing you

Did I ever have you?

I’ve developed an attitude

“ it doesn’t matter”

but that’s a lie

I does matter

And I’m scared

And worried

I don’t expect anything from this

You reading now

This

I don’t want a conversation

Confrontation

Just a new perspective

Wanted by Nine

So much attention

That I don’t understand

Does my past affect this?

Attention that I understand

But don’t want

Neither can I rid

Where do I place

My attentions?

Where do I go?

So many

Cast their looks towards me

How many are sincere

At this point in time

Its not what I desire

But what I’ve been given

How will I fend against

Without  getting hurt

Or hurting someone?

If only I could confide

Unrestrained

In someone

Without fear

Only unbiased advice

Sadly it does not exist

Have I been wrong

Or is this all for real

Does my old soul

Understand?

Answers

I knew I never had it all

But what little I had

Now I have to share

With him

Maybe if there was someone

In my life

Then I’d have more time

With you

These last weeks have been hard

Learning how to cope

How to be me

Without him

I worry that I’ve lost you too

Will you ever know

What you mean

To me?

For reasons I can’t explain

You mean the world

A sister’s love

For my best friend.

Shooting Star

You’re only as strong

As the one you love

You can only fight

For what you have

Give more than you take

And one day you’ll find

That your dreams came true

It happens in odd ways

Never how you expected

Little victories

Mariposa  

Bow Tie

No applause

For something you love

No work, joy

Pain free, passion

Each breath a gift

Life a stage

Pages to write on

Lips to kiss

What will your story

Say about you?

Melocoton

Amor

No Me Gustaria

De hombre

Que dijo

Que pienso

No importa

Es loca

Cuando me enamore

Mi vida

No quiere salir

Tener

En la manana

Me río

Disillusionment

Eyes bright as stars

The world a playground

Endless love, laughter,

Never lying

Couldn’t if they wanted to

Not wanting too

Grasping on to memories

Older times

Newer life

To a child

The world never

Stops

Aquarius

First swimming in words

Then feeding the hungry

Blink

Directing notes

Chasing stars

Flash

Running forward

Never enough time

Juggle

Jump, cook, clean

Organized chaos

Vivo  

Whatumacallit, Thingamajig, Chimychanga

Two faces

One name

One face

Many names

I go by all

Responding obediently

I have no name

No connection

I play many parts

A hot for each

Everyone knows me

But no one knows

Dancing to no music

My own drum

Free, lost

Shakespeare’s Shadow

Many great voices

Sang where I stand

Will I measure up

A thousand poets wrote before

And still I compose

Will I be remembered

I must draw upon the past

Singing along, changing lines

Taller I become

Written in ink

Blood

A Choice

Conscious, love

Heavy the are

Unstoppable, unavoidable

Without them

Emptiness fills in

And takes over

One cannot stand alone

But together they rise

To crush evil and despair

And form new growth

From the ashes of old

They flourish

Lies

I must stand for what I believe

Against all odds

For what is right

Nothing crosses my path

Than I cannot fight

I am strong

Although I kill with kindness

And heal with guilt

I am not malignant

Or benevolent

Like an angel of love

In the dark

I sing

Another Day

Disregarded, thrown out

Standing to the side

Simply moving through the notes

I gave up

On fighting for you

For us

As you walk away

I cry for your return

Silence follows

Alone  

Falling Up

Many things shape a person

Affect them

Meeting you changed who I am

For better or worse

You came to me

And turned my world around

Each activity I join

I become more me

And lose myself

You’ve let me slip away

Even shoved me down

Cheshire Cat

I’ve been called a million names

None of them my own

I’m admired by many

But for the wrong reasons

Behind my eyes

I must stand strong

To hold up against the world

Of misconceptions

In the end

Who am I?

Pit Stop

Black Birds

Dipped in blue

Dance among the branches

A sparkling fire

Here they play

Just beyond the pane

Away they fly

Back to the nest

Down to the South
To the warmth

To return again

Classy Men

Wrapped in black

Hung in a prism

Hair tripped back

Smelling of musk

And tonally fit

Perfect, a pure paradigm

Dressed in silence

Voice like an angel

We dance

Yearbook

Whose here now

Who will be there for you?

Who is never coming back?

Looking into the past

Cramming for now

Preparing for the future

A window opens

When some who you thought

Was a “just-for-now”

Turns out to be more

When all of this is over

It will be all we have  

Thief

Fall had barely dropped

A sun about to set

When frozen snow crept in

Dusting everyone in ice

Still gold teardrops fall

Encrusted in diamonds

A thick blanket over all

Not taking its turn

Disguised in rain

Unannounced

Coquettish winter

Taking fall’s glory

Early  

A New Job

Paying bills

Water plants

Racking leaves

My father’s jobs

Doing dishes

Laundry, feeding fish

Cooking dinner

Now they are mine

Mom retreats

I rise above

Taking over

My family’s keeper  

Cold

Brought together

Through a year’s time

Love between seasons

Then when rain comes,

You stood beside me

But now you’ve left

When I need you

You broke

So I came

Instead of falling apart

I saved you

And still you ran

Trying not to lose myself

While losing you  

Autumn

Sneaking up behind us

While we look for air

On a midday breeze

A bright icy fire

Dancing into death

A cold sunrise

Illness racing through

Unstoppable

Joy-full

Coming in death

Removed with labor

Buried with joy

Our beautiful mistress

With a chilly glare

Arrives  

Miracle

Do you believe?

In messages for the unknown?

Signs for another level

Little things, caught off guard

And arrow in blood,

A single rose

Images beyond the grave

Or in our own backyard

I don’t

But it’s a good story.

Boo

Happy Father's Day

Dear Dad,

Happy father’s day

I love you very much,

 For all that you give me.  

 You’ve taught me so much,

How to ride a bike,

And how to tie my shoes.

When I grow up,

I want to be like you,

Caring, loving, giving,

Smart and brave.

We have so much in common,

Music, movies, books,

Our inside jokes,

And catch phrases.

I love watching repeat movies with you,

And eating candy bars,

Reading more and more.

You support me in all I do,

And encourage me to do new things,

You’re always there for me.

 Thanks for all you do,

 You grill and fix the house,

You cook and clean it all,

Making coffee in the morning.

I love you very much,

Happy father’s day,

I’m proud,

 To be daddy’s little girl.

Smile

It keeps you young

And ages you

Showing in the eyes

Fake or real

 It does not matter

They always mean the same

A simple beauty in those sincere

Bitter distance in the fake

Shining pearls 

Invisible

Unseen

Standing in the shadows

Here I live

Although I scream out

No one hears

My silent pleases

If I sit here

All alone

Will I disappear? 

Archaic 

Hello You Here Me?

What is wrong?

Nothing.

I call shenanigans.

It is hard to miss such beauty

Fallen on the ground

Withering in despair

Here I sit

Rejected  by the ones I hold dear

An sung victory

Alone in peace

Without rest

In this endless dance

I sing 

Not in the Plan

Today I danced in the rain

And met the guy of my dreams

But I’m just kidding

It didn’t happen that way

It didn’t rain

It poured

I found Mr. Right

But he was just a prank

I was stabbed in the back by a friend

And had my heart ripped out

I was left there to die

As my future walked away

But I refused to give up
And let life pass
Instead I'll wait for the rain to stop
And the joke to end

This is What You Left Me

Anger

Hatred

And abandonment

Fear

Worry

And uncertainty

Empty

Presents From Daddy

Little things

Coming in the mail

A new speaker

A single screw

Packages piled high

Evidence of your life

Filled with the things you love

Packed for the one you love