To Catch Me When I Fall

Love is a tricky thing

Something I’d rather avoid

Regardless of what’s to come

 

Society says you must

You says to try

My heart whispers yes

 

Logic argues that I don’t have time

I can’t keep my life together

So what’s the point

 

But romance yells back

About dreams

About unknown happiness

 

Does the reward out way the risk

Will it be worth it

Who knows till it’s over

 

I think I might

But only if you promise

And I Call Into the Darkeness.

Stepping out into the single digit world

Where the air begins to bite

And a crisp silence falls

 

Snow crunching underneath

Hiding deadly black ice

Slink with a burning cold

 

A lone owl calls in the distance

For a lover in the night

His feathers crusty with frost

 

Just the two of us in this frozen eve

Both so alone

Yet we have each other

 

Strength bubbles up

Breaking through the bitter flakes

And warms the soul

 

 

The Hero Generation

Life has its peaks and lows

Look into the past and see

Now we quickly fall to the bottom

 

We bare the weight of the past

As we push to succeed

All eyes on us

 

Seventeen trillion sorrows sit

Ready to be slain

They hand us their swords

 

What is around the corner

For we are the last of our kind

Now it is do or die

 

Take up arms

Against our parents’ follies

 

And I lose my reason to cry

Love, Anger, Hate,

These I can feel

With these I can processe

 

But this silence

As if everything as stopped

What do I do with it

 

It washes over me

And reduces me to tears

You caused it

 

Everything that made me

Is now gone

You were the first to leave

 

Now nothing is left

But the silence

So cold and empty

 

Now I search for something

To fill the void

And it works

 

Movies and book

A few candles

And something sweet

 

A good friend

A quite night

 

 

A Boy and A Girl

She never meant to cause him pain

He never meant to fall in love

For her it was a summer fling

For him the chance of a life time

 

She was fine with flirting then moving on

He had his heart set on her

All his dreams did she fulfill

He couldn’t save any of hers

 

She never set goals for the future

While he planned theirs out forever

When she took flight she gave no thought

 Yet it killed him in a breath

 

Now he’s been with a girl or two

Always comparing them to her

They never understand

Why they couldn’t heal the hurt

 

He crosses her mind from time to time

But she never regrets a word

A tinge of guilt for the pain she caused

But she’s happy none the less

 

He’s still sweet for her

He doesn’t understand

They still talk from time to time

But it isn’t quite the same

 

 

Perhaps one day he’ll stop and think

Of the time they spent apart

And see that he’s grown stronger

Without her in his arms

 

Maybe one day she’ll stop and think

Of the time they spent together

Realize the good that came about

And promise to forget never

Drawn in the Sands of Time

It was cold

I didn’t see the end

Yet I was sure of myself

 

Now it’s over

And starting again

And I’m lost

 

This isn’t in my control

I’m climbing through life

Mildly aware of my strings

 

It pleases you to forgive and forget

Am I to accept this and move on

Or do I resume our conflict

 

Can both happen at once

With new history comes a new line

 

 

Step Back

I had given up

Accepted, embraced the silence

And you turned on a dime

As if the past never happened

 

It’s as if you cut

From the night you told

To this morning

Turning a blind eye

 

Did you see my perspective

Or were you persuaded

Did your heart change

What happened

 

Things won’t be the same

History rewritten

How do I fit in

I'm In Love

He’s perfect in every way

He’s smart and tall and handsome

And always makes me laugh

 

I notice his stolen glances

That lingering smile

And subtle intimacy

 

Even whispers of things benign

Set my heart a flutter

He consumes my thoughts

 

They race from love to love

Bits and pieces I adore

Forming one voice

 

Yet a blank frame stares back at me

His writings not in ink

No quotations can I recite

 

Yet my heart flutters

And Start Anew

So engaged by tradition

I ignored who didn’t fit

Now starting over

The others can fill in

 

She stood by my side from the get go

And is now remarked as the old

I enjoy her presence

But don’t consider her close

 

Yet as I cling to the past

They stepped in

And I love them

For they make me laugh again

 

I’ll embrace these saviors

And perhaps the forlorn love

House of Glass

Sitting on a hill

Slowly filling with smoke

Crowned in dazzling light

 

Before the smoke came

Laughter bounced about

Now silence sings

 

Stones thrown break the panes

Smoke holding up the gem

Till bitter breezes whittle it away

 

The hill sits empty now

Pass visitors glance and the hole

And forget

The thought makes me smile

You are the voice inside my head

A lift of your brow melts my heart

The memory of shared magic

Sparks verbal intercourse in my hands

 

He is my first love

So effortless

Then there is he

A casual flirting star

 

I crave his smile

And our wits interlock

Yet I am inferior

And this fuels my passions

 

The former is cool in person

Yet warmly familiar in private

The later will acknowledge me

Yet makes no motion to move

 

To cling to the past

Hypocritical

To lust for a new reward

Petty and cruel

 

Easier to fall back

The thought makes me smile

An upward climb to the future

 

For a change in heart

Only you can see my soul

Yet be so blind

Finishing my sentences

With no clue as to what they mean

 

You can be so near or far

On something so shallow

Or the bottom of the barrel

But only at times

 

You’ve admitted to moving on

And seen the broken cord

Although you ask

I fail to tell you

 

I can see this all

Yet still I hope

 

Or crushing knowledge?

Things are changing

With the foretold evils

And the subtle good

 

On the surface all is well

I can close my heart and pretend

That everything is normal

 

Underneath its sliding backwards

To where you can see

But don’t care

 

Which is better

Blissful ignorance

 

Will he move on?

Every tale of unrequited love

Calls of two lovers

One cold who shuns the other

One who pines away

 

The former flirts

And reaps rewards

While the latter cries with sorrow

Unable to fulfill his heart’s desire

 

He can waste his life away

His soul crumbling from within

While she basks in the glow

Blissfully aware of the tragedy

 

Yet her heart might grow to love him

Or merely a love for his love

Will this fill his heart

Or when he has what he desires

 

Our final resting place

 

Quite a curious thing

Our endless slumber

That all must endure

For we lie in earthly bosom

In a frozen silence

 

In the passing of a second we fall

Oblivious of all around

Each in our own time

No set pattern in this eve

Yet none shall stay awake

 

Wrapped in raven smoke

Warm and alluring

Some flee from this mistress

While others welcome her embrace

She will come knocking on every door

How she is received defines the master

My Final Interaction

An error I’d like to bring to light

Is one of the greatest sorrows

To have a laps of morals

Unforgivable

 

To wantonly court a taken man

And threaten to leave education

Become a thieving scallywag

For this I am disgusted

 

In the face of laws and ethics you laugh

Blatantly disregard other’s rights

How can I continue a relationship with

You for whom I have no respect

 

 

 

A Murky Mind

List to words written

Illuminate the knowledge you desire

Or do you?

Do you desire to know?

 

Shrouded in blissful ignorance

With you face to the sun

Stepping over the shattered bones

Of the fallen thoughts

 

A smile and a laugh

You write off all as well

Yet the ugly truth who rears his head

Is that the very bridge you cling to, has broken

 

Now walking on crimson clouds

Soon to fall into raging waters

Where the allies which you left for

Will never support you through the thick

 

But not how you expected it

Today was a gray day

Weather wise and in health

Yet I am warm

 

Nothing of interest to report

A spark thrown into the dampness

And that’s ok

 

To get through this weekend

My goal to achieve

Then I come clean

 

I’m ready to cut the cord

Stop going through the muse

Which is insane

 

This is what you wanted me to do

 

 

Free from you

The last string that would tie us together

Cut

This is where our story ends

 

In time this will be evident

And a new voice will fill my head

But enough is enough

 

I love you

Never forget this

Goodbye my dear

 

No more forced smiles

Or putting up a pretense

Finally I am free

 

 

 

Object of Envy

The ex love

Turned green with the thought

Of me with another

 

Then the guy who loves me

Who is loved by another

He must see this

 

Another time this happens

Although her victory I don’t care

For he is already taken

 

My genes have been blessed

And this too is regarded

By those with whom I am dear

 

A little bliss

A dash of regret

A delicious blend of life

 

Every guy wants me

Every girl wants to be me

Interworkings of a mind

Life is about walking the line

Between sanity and insanity

Too sane and you forget who you are

Not sane enough and you lose touch with reality

 

You must look into the future

Learn from the past

And live in the now

Or you will fail

 

Distinguish pain from anger

Love from lust

It’s not about falling down

But standing up again

 

Unique thought process

And a dream for tomorrow

 

And You Need to Read

Words not meant to harm

Simply to express

What reactions come from them?

Fall to your discretion

 

Few complaints I will detail

A lie over something trivial

A dig direct towards me

Both to my face you sent them

 

And all though you are aware

You seemingly refuse to read these

Your understanding sets me free

While your ignorance causes me harm

 

No easy way to say this

For this might bring you pain

But I love you

So soon approaching

Fair weather friends I have plenty

No it’s the one I need

Who can see the inner storm

 

Both happen at once

And both are needed

In perfect balance

 

But now the balance has shifted

Plenty sunshine sailors

Yet none to weather the waves

 

A captain without her sailors

Only those green

A ship soon to crash

 

Grab fast the wheel

And look for the eye

 

 

When the day is gray: but some are easier than others

 

You write and drink hot chocolate

Wear long sleeve tees

And watch Disney films

 

Some days are gray in a different way

Where the sun shines

Yet the inner storm rages

 

Out in the streets

With wet cheeks

Although the sky is clear

 

Your shadow walks beside thee

Your only companion

Both days knock you down

 

When tomorrow comes.

Living for tomorrow

Not the future

But the next sun rise

 

Even the weekend freedoms repeat

Is this circle necessary?

To reach a better tomorrow

 

Climbing and learning

Over and over again

Just a little, mostly the same

 

The things that give me joy

Fall cyclical

A flat life line

 

How to change things up

When tomorrow comes.  

Just a quite disobedience

Will keep up an act

To make the day to day bearable

With the last poem

I said goodbye

 

I haven’t told you this

The poem the only proof

Maybe you’ll never know

But it’s important to me

 

Free from this weight

My displeasure sorted

No guilt in my disgust

Although it will not be known

 

By my own choice

Kept from you per say

Not a secret in reality

 

  

The Gentle Dying of Life Past

A poem written this time last year

Told of our joys and trials overcome

Now I write to say goodbye for the last time

 

Once spoke of future goals and past gatherings

Now silence fills the void

I prepare for the inevitable

 

I will always love you

So this end is bittersweet

Both choices make me mournful and rejoiced

 

Goodbye my dear

They say two hears come together and fall apart

For the greater good

 

It breaks my heart to leave

And I will be lonely once more

But I don’t regret it

 

We can scream and make up

For six months of bliss

And start this again

 

Or we can end this now

Remaining courteous strangers

With a shared past

 

Yes people will reference this

And it will sting

But I’ll remember

Is My Greatest Challenge

Cats in the cradle

And the silver spoon

A child growing without her father

Going to be just like here dad

 

Once representing childhood fear

Now sums up my reality

Not perfectly, just a concept

Little girl grey

 

You will never see my leave

Or walk me down the aisle

My children you’ll never meet

Nor grow old with pride

 

I promised to take care of you

But I couldn’t do it here

I’ll carry your legacy

My sincere apologies

 

Not trying to let you down

Autumn

 

Leaving dripping in the fog

Their colors beginning to change

Although the sky dapple grey

Grass grows an emerald gem

 

The air cool and sharp

Nature’s sound track muted

Only the gentle pitter patter sounds

The streets turned mirroresk

 

Chilled to the bone

I feel in tune, healthy

A spot of warm tea

Brings me back to life

 

Now is my favorite season

Immaculate weather

My ideal clothing

And great flavors

Fear of the Unknown

 

You could have asked me

What are your afraid of?

And I’d laugh at you

Fearless I’d say

 

But now I’m not so sure

I found something I’m terrified of

I’ve lost who I am

And this makes me cry

 

I’ve always been Kaitlyn,

Strong, passionate, kind

I had a path and future

A perfect role model

 

But now who am I?

What do I do?

Where am I going?

Ostracized

 

So close we could touch

We can hear and see each other

Interact

 

Yet there’s something there

Like a pane of glass

Slowly growing thicker

 

Like sitting in a zoo display

 Built not long ago

Everyone looking in

 

Some glance in and leave

 Others sit and watch

None come in

 

So may faces coming by

But so alone

You Make It So

 

Who shapes your life

Morally

Stylistically

Overall

 

Morally

The past explains

Society dictates

Experiences of time

 

Stylistically

What feels right

The giants you stand on

The lessons you’ve been taught

 

Overall

Your superiors decide

Your history lays foundation

Seconds on the Hour

 

 

Its finally come

Two years building

Not with a bang

But with a whimper

 

The one you go to for help

The first with every news

Your advice giver

 

Not me anymore is it?

 

Has the coin been turned?

No. I haven’t begun again

Instead I simmer

 

I’ve tried to counter this

Join a new group

But it came to fast

 

A fall out with you

Before fully set up again

And now I drift

 

So strong I could lift others

I took it all on

Now I can barely hold my own

 

But I still have followers

How can I lead

When I can’t stand

 

Weak and at a drift

This is where I’m found

Now without you

 

How long till I hit the bottom

Falling as fast as I am

Look Up

That fire, once lost

Found again

Rejoice

But wait

It has not been mentioned

Will you say?

 

Yes a story told

Here and now

Influence

 

Intrigued?

How will this flower blossom?

Only time will till

When does love out way pain?

There was a fire

Ready to burst

But it was lost

 

 

Its funny how a tragedy

When mixed with laughter

Is held at bay

 

This news would reduce me to tears

But I laugh

Why?

 

This is lightness

Not yet understood

Does it have a name?

 

Here boredom commands

Sprinkled with joy

A desk is not enough

 

Potatoes

Warm and comforting

In any form

From dirty white

To shiny gold

 

Drizzled in oil

Or boiled and mashed

Buttery and savory

Sigh

 

An alien in Ireland

Eventually it starved them out

Our ancestors brought you

Now we adore you

 

My mouth waters

And I grin

 

 

Fallen

Climbing higher

With others following

Afraid to fall

 

Through gritty muck

Making progress

But sliding back

 

Sands of time piling up

With few beacons

Alone, universal

 

Relearn your ways

Adapting to a situation

Always changing

 

The loneliest I’ve been

Losing both homes

With failure after failure

 

 

Impossible?

I had a passion for school

So I jumped right in

And lost it

 

Now I wake to work

And work so I can sleep

Repeat

 

Without passion, my grades slip,

I begin to hate my refuge

And shirk my goals

 

I need to get my butt back in gear

Regain control

By happy again  

Nine-Eleven

How am I supposed to feel?

Society says one thing

But I feel another

 

Sorrow, grief and anger

To fall apart

This society dictates

 

Relief

Nothing “new” to come

A mere shadow

 

Losing an identity

Or regaining an old me

Lost in sands of time

 

One holiday standing nationally

A tragedy shouting inwardly

 

Colorado

Fire after fire

Tearing us apart

 

Bullets raining down on the innocent

Countless times in years past

 

Children abducted and killed

Never to have justice

 

All this and we stand strong

 

Now waters threaten our way of life

Closing homes and doing harm

 

Its one thing is see it on the news

Another to have it in your yard

 

But we will prevail

By helping one another

 

One community, one heart

Made of many parts

 

Through trials and tribulations

We’ve had our share

 

Standing together

Now and forever