And we take a breath, together

They call it falling in love for a reason

The risk

The uncertainty

The fear

 

Falling in love makes you lose control

So dependent on someone else

That you forget how to breathe

When they’re not around

 

Love makes you vulnerable

As you hand your heart to another

Praying that they don’t drop it

Yet it never comes back whole

 

We try to regain control

To build a parachute

Keep our hearts guarded till we’re sure

But that’s not how it works

 

I let go of everything

Accepting the cool hit of the pavement

When you catch me in your arms

 

Yet it isnt

Impossible

How in love with you I am

Impossible  

How much I miss your touch

Impossible  

How a simple hello can change my day

Impossible  

How much it hurts to be apart

Impossible  

How my walls crumble in your presence

Impossible  

That I fall for you more each day

Impossible  

That you haven’t ran, abandoning me

Impossible  

That I could even cross your mind

Impossible  

That you might be mine forever

My Secret

I’m not sure how to say this

It terrifies me to my core

To be so vulnerable to someone else

Yet I’ve found myself opening to you

 

Let me not stumble over my words

Which cannot express how I feel

The chaos rages within

Yet this remains constant

 

Over our six years

This fact has come to light

A simple truth

Finally coming to light

 

Very soon our time might end

Without this being said

I’m holding back due to things unresolved

I wish to drop this weight

 

Even though I am unashamed of how I feel

And I’m almost positive that its reciprocated

I can’t tell you this

Not yet anyways

 

You must be aware of how I feel

My actions surely tell my secret

Couldn’t you make the first move

Take the jump instead

 

O how I crave to tip the scale

To finally admit to you

Accept whatever change comes my way

I pray you agree

 

Unless one of us speaks up

This will never come to be

And we will be soon to fade

Just that you let me in

Hi

That stupid smile flashes across my face

Your head is in the clouds

While I’m here on the ground

 

I know I catch your eye down here

Like a beacon in a storm

O how I wish to hold your hand

And help you weather through

 

My heart aces for what pains yours

I hunger for your words

Yet I must step back

And let you fight your battle

 

I haven’t told you yet

Although perhaps you know

I'm head over heels for you

I see forever and it terrifies me

 

I adore you

There is trust and respect

Something there that feels like love

But it’s obscured by fog

 

You cling to toxins past

Look to others for your own opinion

Eyes batted with other girls

These hurtles stand in our way

 

I can accept that you value your friends

The relationship you share with them

Of course I’d never ask for it to end

Just that you included me

 

As for the other girls

I get it you’re a romantic and care too much

Kind, respectful, funny

You’re every girls dream

 

The ex’s break my heart

Don’t get me wrong I trust you

I trust you

But it breaks my heart

 

We’re avoiding this conversation

Between just as friends

And something more

What stands in the bridge

 

I love you

I love you

And I want to be there for you

The Closer We Get

I’m scared

About how quickly I’m falling

In love

With you

 

You’ve seen my heart

And called it beautiful

Yet we’re holding back

And I’ve lost control

 

A smile dances on my lips

As you flit through my thoughts

You’re just a breath away

Although it feels like a mile

 

I hunger for forever

But am dying of starvation

Do you know I’m suffering?

Still You Won't Choose Me

Two girls stand before you

One who loves you

And one who never will

You walk away with her

I let you go

I want you to be happy

 

You say you don’t love him

Yet you string him along

Why won’t you release him

To someone who cares

Yet you selfishly cling to your unwanted prize

 

My heart breaks

As you flirt with him

My heart breaks

As you try to crush him underfoot

 

Even as you go through this pain

For surely you see it happening

For Now and Forever

The giving tree

Gave her all

To those she loved

Let me be your giving tree

 

Every heartbeat, breathe and tear

All my waking moments

Consumer my very thoughts

I give to you all I am

 

The hanging tree

Where lovers go to die

My only crime was loving you

You were my hanging tree

 

I stretch my branches out to you

As I feel my leaves wither and fall

Yet I still love you

 

What is it about you?

God I hate you

I’m so ready to cut the cord

Slam the door

And walk away

 

And there it is

Out of the blue

Out of the silence

A simple hello

 

One little word

Sends my world spinning again

How easily I fell

Why is it always you

 

I’d be yours in a heartbeat

If only you’d ask

Yet I stand at arms lenght

Last Only a Moment

Can you miss something

You never had

Morn a future lost

 

I was so sure

Until the next heartbeat fell

Without me noticing

 

It’s funny how your mind works

It can trick you into believing anything

Even if it’s a lie

 

Maybe it’s better that way

The life unlived

For its forever, perfect

 

The few memories I have

Fill an eternity

And the ever present silence

I Do

I promise

To never get close to anyone

I promise

To never fall in love

I promise

To never start a family

I promise to never make her mistakes

 

I promise

To never stop loving the world

I promise

To never stop serving

I promise

I never close my heart to forgiveness

I promise to never forget my past, nor let it define me

Thanks for Reminding Me

 I thought I was alone

But then I noticed you

You were always there

You showed me an affection and intimacy

To which I was unfamiliar

I began to trust you, to fall in love

 

You pulled me out into the light

From my comfortable darkness

I started to think about tomorrow. Our tomorrow

All signs pointed to it

I was so…blinded…. By hope that I didn’t care

That we could never be

 

It ended before you were mine

Yet still I felt it all break again

I remember why I close myself off

Why my heart stays cold

To those who run from her

Watch out for the darkness

For she comes creeping in

Her fingers caress the edges

Of everything she sees

 

She reaches you just before the light does

Always a moment faster

And always there

The twin we try to hide from

 

She never leaves her sister’s side

But often travels alone

You never have to look for her

She lives within the mirror

 

She can be warm and kind

Craved by those seek her

Or a cold and harsh mistress

But who does?

I'm a good Christian girl

Quite, respectful, caring, attentive

I volunteer, do well in school

I will always be there, for anyone

 

I could be a pastor’s wife

An elementary school teacher, a nurse

A big warm family with three little ones

Happy

 

So why did this happen

Why does this keep happening

What have I done to deserve this

How do I make it stop

 

So alone, so empty

I could use a hug

From someone who understands

This is my story now

I’ll call the cops if I see him again

No you won't

I should slash his tires

Egg his car

Freeze over his windows

But you won't

You’re a good girl

Worried about what will happen afterwards

Instead you go to sleep

Cold, shaky, alone

Unable to stand up for yourself

But, but I can’t

I want to but I can’t

And you never will

Five months till you graduate

Move away, lose your chance

Quite, alone, afraid

Or Find Comfort

Ear plugs

White noise turned up

Crushed under pillows

Mummified by my bedding

 

I want to scream

Cry

Leave

I am frozen

 

Sweat dripping down

Under the blankets

The air thick and damp

Suffocating but I must stay

 

My whole body shaking

Falling apart

Unable to stay still

To Pay for My Silence: Did You Know Shes Changed Her Sheets?

Hi

How are you

I haven’t seen you in a while

Can we talk

 

You only left three years ago

Now others take your place

Your empty bed now warm

A stranger in your shoes

 

I can hear them in the night

I don’t sleep much anymore

She asked me once when she was drunk

I said yes to spare her

 

I pretend I didn’t hear

Didn’t sleep

Little gifts I get each morning  

This is what Beauty is

To be strong

When you want to crumble

To be honest

Even when it hurts

To stand for what’s right

When you’re told it’s wrong

To be different

Even if it’s harder

 

Smile

Tears streaming down your face

Give a hand

As you hit the ground

Speak up for someone else

While being dragged under

 

May the light never shine on you

For you point it for those who need it