Words of Advice from a Guy Crazy Girl

All these boys whose eye I caught

Now others’ eyes they catch

 

But I don’t mind

I never did

For this never lasts

Each glance a different breeze

Passing through an open window

Perhaps they’ll ring the bell

And disappear again

Only for a new spirit

To take their place

 

Their differences keep me laughing

Between the old and new,

What I expect

And what I'm learning

 

 

 

Together

You stand

And my heart stops

You call my name

And the room falls silent

A collective breath in taken

Shakily I stand

Thoughts race through my mind

Every fear and hope crashing into one

You say you’re sorry

That can we be friends again

A watery nod

And then a tight hug

As if we’re afraid

That when we let go

This will all slip away again

I whisper I’m sorry

 

As I sit down

Relief crashes over me

A smile splits my face

The next morning I sing and dance

We act as if the last months never passed

A pause button reset

Stopping only to apologize

Conversation flows again

As if it never stopped

Perhaps rough water lies ahead

But we can take it on

My Mysterious Man

Newly on the hunt

You sweep me off my feet

Only to set me down

To chase someone else

 

You keep drawing near

Yet as soon as I lean in

Off again you go

A new breeze to catch

 

Funny

How I expect

Absolute devotion

From many

Yet I flit between

Only to become melancholy

When one pulls away

 

I think it’s time you took your step

As the ball rolls into your court

Only to watch it crack

I was born

To bury my parents

Raised

To watch them die

From the start I learned

 

To cook

Clean

And change diapers

Perfect

 

Wife, Daughter

Sister, Friend

Born into a shadow

 

Laden with expectations

I blossomed within the mold

Thoughts on Falling in Love with a Broken Heart

 

My heart has been broken, so, many times

That it will never be repaired

Instead it sits broken

Into hundreds

Thousands

Of itty bitty hearts

Each beating on its own

Yet all at once

 

Love is but a myth

Clung to by fools

Who fear falling into oblivion

I care for every drop of life

Am fond of every existence

Kindness, the closest to this forever

I want to kiss the stars

 

Can each shard love differently

My tomorrows beautiful

My forevers long

Perhaps I do not love one soul

But humanity in every form

Not a life

To which I won’t give my own

No cause too mighty

Or person insignificant

 

A broken heart

Has many windows

For love to wiggle in

Many pieces

To give away as I please

Love comes to a broken heart

As rain on an autumn day

Unpredictable

Often cold

Sometimes, sometimes forgiving

Yet it always brings a smile

And you must dance

To the clamor of a million drums

 

I hope my heart breaks again

And again

And again

Each scar proves I’m open

To every drop of life

To every single beat

That I never stopped once

Stopped giving more

Tomorrow is still coming

 

I pity those with a single heart

For how does love flow

Into a room without doors

How do you hear a song

In absolute silence

A broken heart need not heal

But only keep beating

And I Can Write Again

Why can’t I write about this

Why can’t I cleanse my heart in the usual way

Why must I hold this inside to stew

Only to gush out at the worst of times

 

This is the secret I keep from everyone

I keep from myself

I bear it in total silence

Always going inward

 

Perhaps a little part of me

Wants people to know my soul

So I write it down

But this is more than that

 

This is not my soul

 But the color of my past

I refuse to be defined by it

So I hide it deep within

 

This is a double edge sword

No one knows so I can’t be judged

Yet I can’t talk about it

Or I will be so

 

Maybe if I don’t admit it’s there

Like the people that I hate

It will go away

For Always

Since I spoke my mind

I’ve become an outcast

But only in her presence

 

Without her they come to me

Talk to me

See me

 

I could be invisible forever

Yet they come

How strange

 

Thank you

For seeing me

Part of the time

 

Only a few are constant

Thank you

For not picking sides

 

I will not argue

I’d rather be your friend for thirty

Than never speak to you again

 

Thank you

For seeing me

Even when you shouldn’t

 

Thank you

For being there

When it really counts

 

And thank you

To my little sis