A Poet Never Sleeps

One day you will be faced with the impossible. When you become afraid, become inspired.

10 March 2015

And we take a breath, together

They call it falling in love for a reason

The risk

The uncertainty

The fear


Falling in love makes you lose control

So dependent on someone else

That you forget how to breathe

When they’re not around


Love makes you vulnerable

As you hand your heart to another

Praying that they don’t drop it

Yet it never comes back whole


We try to regain control

To build a parachute

Keep our hearts guarded till we’re sure

But that’s not how it works


I let go of everything

Accepting the cool hit of the pavement

When you catch me in your arms


Yet it isnt


How in love with you I am


How much I miss your touch


How a simple hello can change my day


How much it hurts to be apart


How my walls crumble in your presence


That I fall for you more each day


That you haven’t ran, abandoning me


That I could even cross your mind


That you might be mine forever

My Secret

I’m not sure how to say this

It terrifies me to my core

To be so vulnerable to someone else

Yet I’ve found myself opening to you


Let me not stumble over my words

Which cannot express how I feel

The chaos rages within

Yet this remains constant


Over our six years

This fact has come to light

A simple truth

Finally coming to light


Very soon our time might end

Without this being said

I’m holding back due to things unresolved

I wish to drop this weight


Even though I am unashamed of how I feel

And I’m almost positive that its reciprocated

I can’t tell you this

Not yet anyways


You must be aware of how I feel

My actions surely tell my secret

Couldn’t you make the first move

Take the jump instead


O how I crave to tip the scale

To finally admit to you

Accept whatever change comes my way

I pray you agree


Unless one of us speaks up

This will never come to be

And we will be soon to fade

Just that you let me in


That stupid smile flashes across my face

Your head is in the clouds

While I’m here on the ground


I know I catch your eye down here

Like a beacon in a storm

O how I wish to hold your hand

And help you weather through


My heart aces for what pains yours

I hunger for your words

Yet I must step back

And let you fight your battle


I haven’t told you yet

Although perhaps you know

I'm head over heels for you

I see forever and it terrifies me


I adore you

There is trust and respect

Something there that feels like love

But it’s obscured by fog


You cling to toxins past

Look to others for your own opinion

Eyes batted with other girls

These hurtles stand in our way


I can accept that you value your friends

The relationship you share with them

Of course I’d never ask for it to end

Just that you included me


As for the other girls

I get it you’re a romantic and care too much

Kind, respectful, funny

You’re every girls dream


The ex’s break my heart

Don’t get me wrong I trust you

I trust you

But it breaks my heart


We’re avoiding this conversation

Between just as friends

And something more

What stands in the bridge


I love you

I love you

And I want to be there for you

01 March 2015

The Closer We Get

I’m scared

About how quickly I’m falling

In love

With you


You’ve seen my heart

And called it beautiful

Yet we’re holding back

And I’ve lost control


A smile dances on my lips

As you flit through my thoughts

You’re just a breath away

Although it feels like a mile


I hunger for forever

But am dying of starvation

Do you know I’m suffering?

25 February 2015

Still You Won't Choose Me

Two girls stand before you

One who loves you

And one who never will

You walk away with her

I let you go

I want you to be happy


You say you don’t love him

Yet you string him along

Why won’t you release him

To someone who cares

Yet you selfishly cling to your unwanted prize


My heart breaks

As you flirt with him

My heart breaks

As you try to crush him underfoot


Even as you go through this pain

For surely you see it happening

For Now and Forever

The giving tree

Gave her all

To those she loved

Let me be your giving tree


Every heartbeat, breathe and tear

All my waking moments

Consumer my very thoughts

I give to you all I am


The hanging tree

Where lovers go to die

My only crime was loving you

You were my hanging tree


I stretch my branches out to you

As I feel my leaves wither and fall

Yet I still love you


22 February 2015

What is it about you?

God I hate you

I’m so ready to cut the cord

Slam the door

And walk away


And there it is

Out of the blue

Out of the silence

A simple hello


One little word

Sends my world spinning again

How easily I fell

Why is it always you


I’d be yours in a heartbeat

If only you’d ask

Yet I stand at arms lenght

Last Only a Moment

Can you miss something

You never had

Morn a future lost


I was so sure

Until the next heartbeat fell

Without me noticing


It’s funny how your mind works

It can trick you into believing anything

Even if it’s a lie


Maybe it’s better that way

The life unlived

For its forever, perfect


The few memories I have

Fill an eternity

And the ever present silence

21 February 2015

I Do

I promise

To never get close to anyone

I promise

To never fall in love

I promise

To never start a family

I promise to never make her mistakes


I promise

To never stop loving the world

I promise

To never stop serving

I promise

I never close my heart to forgiveness

I promise to never forget my past, nor let it define me

Thanks for Reminding Me

 I thought I was alone

But then I noticed you

You were always there

You showed me an affection and intimacy

To which I was unfamiliar

I began to trust you, to fall in love


You pulled me out into the light

From my comfortable darkness

I started to think about tomorrow. Our tomorrow

All signs pointed to it

I was so…blinded…. By hope that I didn’t care

That we could never be


It ended before you were mine

Yet still I felt it all break again

I remember why I close myself off

Why my heart stays cold

13 January 2015

To those who run from her

Watch out for the darkness

For she comes creeping in

Her fingers caress the edges

Of everything she sees


She reaches you just before the light does

Always a moment faster

And always there

The twin we try to hide from


She never leaves her sister’s side

But often travels alone

You never have to look for her

She lives within the mirror


She can be warm and kind

Craved by those seek her

Or a cold and harsh mistress

But who does?

I'm a good Christian girl

Quite, respectful, caring, attentive

I volunteer, do well in school

I will always be there, for anyone


I could be a pastor’s wife

An elementary school teacher, a nurse

A big warm family with three little ones



So why did this happen

Why does this keep happening

What have I done to deserve this

How do I make it stop


So alone, so empty

I could use a hug

From someone who understands

This is my story now

I’ll call the cops if I see him again

No you won't

I should slash his tires

Egg his car

Freeze over his windows

But you won't

You’re a good girl

Worried about what will happen afterwards

Instead you go to sleep

Cold, shaky, alone

Unable to stand up for yourself

But, but I can’t

I want to but I can’t

And you never will

Five months till you graduate

Move away, lose your chance

Quite, alone, afraid

Or Find Comfort

Ear plugs

White noise turned up

Crushed under pillows

Mummified by my bedding


I want to scream



I am frozen


Sweat dripping down

Under the blankets

The air thick and damp

Suffocating but I must stay


My whole body shaking

Falling apart

Unable to stay still

To Pay for My Silence: Did You Know Shes Changed Her Sheets?


How are you

I haven’t seen you in a while

Can we talk


You only left three years ago

Now others take your place

Your empty bed now warm

A stranger in your shoes


I can hear them in the night

I don’t sleep much anymore

She asked me once when she was drunk

I said yes to spare her


I pretend I didn’t hear

Didn’t sleep

Little gifts I get each morning  

This is what Beauty is

To be strong

When you want to crumble

To be honest

Even when it hurts

To stand for what’s right

When you’re told it’s wrong

To be different

Even if it’s harder



Tears streaming down your face

Give a hand

As you hit the ground

Speak up for someone else

While being dragged under


May the light never shine on you

For you point it for those who need it